


The Peepee Collection

by HuntingPeople



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Belts, Blow Jobs, Chug chug, Come Marking, Crying, Desperation, Dom/sub, Dry Humping, Established Relationship, Facials, Golden shower, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, M/M, Masturbation, Omorashi, Piss kink, Safewords, Spanking, Tickling, Watersports, Wetting, piss drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23412670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntingPeople/pseuds/HuntingPeople
Summary: A collection of oneshots that will involve various Hazbin Hotel characters and ships in various peepee related situations, nothing innocent about it, this is 100% kink.I would apologize to Viv, but I'm not sorry.
Relationships: Alastor's Shadow/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel)/Husk, Husk/Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 164





	1. Valastor - Tickling, Masturbation

**Author's Note:**

> I made myself a Valastor server and it took less than a week for it to devolve into depravity, my fellow degenerates encouraged me to start a new series of oneshots in order to counteract the severe lack of piss kink in this fandom and who the fuck am I to deny them? I'm dedicating this to all ya'll.
> 
> If you're also pissed off about the lack of piss, this is the fic for you!
> 
> Chapter titles will contain ships + other kinks that may be involved, for easy navigating ;o
> 
> No kinkshaming here, just real peepee hours uwu

One of the greatest discoveries that Valentino had ever made was the fact that Alastor was ticklish. It had happened purely on accident, of course, just a gentle brush of fingers against Al's side when they were getting changed one morning, a small huff as the deer had jerked away from the touch.

Then, being the curious man that he was, Valentino just had to explore that further and, lo and behold, he became privy to the well kept secret that even a few seconds of tickling could have Alastor rolling on the ground with raucous laughter. 

Naturally, Valentino took advantage of that as much as possible. It didn't matter how many times Alastor complained about being betrayed by the one sinner he cared about most, he would always come back to the pimp, and then Val could grasp at Alastor's thin waist again, and bring about his new favourite sound.

It was on one such night, with Alastor trying in vein to escape from Valentino's four arms, that the pimp made another discovery.

"Val!" Alastor gasped, kicking out with his legs, "Stop! _Stop_ , I-I gotta-" He trailed off into more breathless giggles, clutching hard enough at Valentino's arms to draw blood, but that didn't bother the pimp.

He freed one hand to cup it around his antennae, "What was that, Bambi? 'Fraid I couldn't hear you."

"I g-gotta- _Val_ , I gotta-!"

More protests were silenced by another guffaw, Alastor's legs thrashing.

Valentino grinned down at the smaller sinner, "Still not making any sense, baby."

"I gotta _pee_ -!" Alastor squeaked.

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, he fell still, eyes wide.

Val paused, opened his mouth to express his concern-

But then he heard the sound of trickling water, or- _not_ water.

Alastor was looking at some spot over his shoulder, face a bright red, smile wobbling, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. His legs were clenched shut, and his hands had a death grip on Valentino's arm.

Neither of them moved until the sound finally stopped, wrapping them in an awkward silence.

The larger Overlord risked a glance down, saw the way the front of Alastor's pants were soaked, the same going for the hem of his shirt. When he shifted his hips, it was accompanied by the sound of sopping fabric shifting together.

"I told you I had to pee..." Alastor whispered.

"You did." Valentino agreed, "You did, Al, shit-" He gently pried fingers from his arm and cupped the man's face, brushed away tears, "I'm so sorry-"

"No, I-" Alastor swallowed, "I've lied before, I don't blame you. I just- I would like to clean up now."

"Yeah, of course." Val coughed, sitting up and reluctantly dropping his hands to his sides.

Alastor sat up too, wincing slightly. He looked at Valentino, then quickly turned away again, the red of his face somehow deepening a shade or too. He stood up on shaking legs, one hand moving to hold Val's shoulder for balance. A second or two passed before he leaned down to place a kiss on his lover's cheek, "I'm sorry about your carpet."

"Don't worry about it, Al. It's no problem. Really." Valentino assured him, "Carpets can be cleaned, or replaced if need be." He brushed his knuckles against Alastor's cheek and the deer leaned into the touch, then stood and was quickly whisked away by the shadows, leaving Val alone.

He let out a ragged groan, doubling over until his forehead was pressed to the floor. He shifted his legs, lifting himself onto his knees with his ass in the air, and used his lower pair of hands to release his aching erection from his too tight pants. 

_Fuck_.

Valentino was leaking so much precum that he didn't even need to worry about lube, and he jacked himself off furiously. 

Watersports might have been one of Valentino's biggest kinks, but getting Alastor to wet himself hadn't been the end goal of tickling him. He just wanted to see him smile, one of those genuine smiles, and not one of the poor imitations he was constantly sporting. And it had been working, up until he'd pushed a little too far. But like the deer said, he _had_ faked needing to piss before to make Valentino let him go, several times in fact, it was only natural for him not to be believed. Boy who cried wolf and all that.

Still, Valentino was now aware of the face that Alastor made when he failed at so desperately trying to hold it in. He'd been so embarrassed, so ashamed.

It was so fucking _hot_.

He was going to have to make sure he told Alastor that. Repeat over and over again that he didn't find the deer disgusting, or repulsive, and he hadn't quite been ready to reveal this particular kink to Alastor, but it was the perfect opportunity to let him know. Let him know that he was perfect, and that Val loved him so damn much.

He gasped into the carpet as the desire made heat curl low in his gut, made his cock throb in his hand. He wasn't going to last long at all, and the pimp couldn't even find it in himself to care that it had hardly even been five minutes.

Valentino shuffled a little closer to the puddle Alastor had left behind, antennae flicking on his head when they were surrounded further by the strong scent of his piss. He didn't bother to catch any of his cum, just let it stain the carpet further. It had been there for a decade anyway, might as well get a new one, change the scenery of his penthouse up a little bit.

As he tucked himself in, he began to brainstorm ideas of just how exactly he could get Alastor to piss himself for him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've got ideas for more chapters, LET ME KNOW, any character or ship from Hazbin Hotel, MAYBE Helluva Boss too. Charlastor is the only ship that is a hard no, and I may be picky with others, but it just depends.
> 
> Currently planning more Valastor chapters, a Husk/Vox chapter, and possibly Angel Dust/Husk too uwu
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter about piss maybe [@hunting_people](https://twitter.com/hunting_people)
> 
> And remember: It's always real peepee hours.


	2. Husk X Vox - Golden shower, handjobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Husk gives Vox an accidental golden shower and the TV demon likes it more than Husk thought he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Gonna take the day off from writing after that chapter' Haha sike, I'm clocking in the peepee hours, this time with a good rarepair
> 
> Poor Husky got an old man bladder, good job Vox doesn't mind

Husk sat at the end of the bed, barbed cock held in his tight fist. He stroked it slowly, teasingly, precum beading at the tip.

Vox knelt between his thighs, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. His glowing eyes were focused on the prize before him, eagerly awaiting all that the cat had to offer.

The cat tilted his hips forward, dragged the tip of his cock against Vox's face, "You want it, slut?"

The TV demon simulated a huff of breath, leaned a bit closer, "You want me to beg for it, old man?"

"Yeah, I want you to beg, ya little shit." Husk growled, all but humping his partner's screen face, smeering precum across the surface, "Tell me how much you want me to paint this pretty face of yours with my cum."

Vox leaned closer, one hand gripping Husk's knee to help him keep his balance, the other wrapping around his own leaking cock, "If I could, I would spend hours on my knees for you, Tiger, just letting you have your way with my mouth. But I can't have that, so give me the next best thing." He groaned, squeezed his cock, "Please, cum on my face, mark me up, _ruin me_."

Husk used his free hand to grip the top of Vox's head tightly, let out a deep growl, "Get ready, baby girl." He pumped his fist once, twice, then finally let go.

He let out a content sigh, holding his cock steady as a stream of piss hit Vox right between the eyes-

Wait.

Husk's eyes snapped open wide.

_Shit._

He was too dazed to do anything except watch in horror as the stream continued, piss drenching Vox's face, running off the smooth surface in waves to soak his thighs and the carpeted floor.

Vox just stared right back at him, unblinking.

The waterfall of piss trickled to a stop, but neither of them dared to move, not even when Vox's head began to smoke.

 _Literally_ smoke.

And were those... sparks?

"Uh, Vox-"

There was an odd burst of static from the TV demon, followed by a loud beep.

Husk gave him a tentative shake, "Vox, you're scaring me-"

" _Do-do-do that again._ " Vox demanded, voice skipping like a scratched CD. The smoke coming from his head brought with it the scent of burning plastic, and Husk wrinkled his nose.

"Should I-"

"Yes! Ab-ab-absolutely you _should_!"

Fuck.

"Okay."

Husk scrambled up from the bed, searched for a bottle of something, anything, and when he found it, he popped the lid off without even checking what it was, chugged it down. He discarded the empty bottle on the bed, smothered the burp rising in his throat- _not sexy at all_ \- and reclaimed his spot in front of Vox, not bothering to sit.

He thought watery thoughts. Roaring waves, rushing rivers, running waterfalls. "C'mon, c'mon." He growled impatiently.

Vox was licking his lips like he could actually taste the liquid that still clung to the surface of his screen, the projection of his face blinked and distorted, the piss effecting him in a way that was clearly not good and yet he wasn't panicking. He had a vice grip on his dick, precum drooling from the tip to add to the mess already on the floor.

"Please, Tiger, pl-please. _Fuck_ , pussycat, give it to-to-to me, fucking- fucking piss on me again-"

His words were interrupted by piss splashing against his face and he let out a wanton moan, hand flying over his erection.

"More! Get it all-all over me-"

Husk was helpless to do anything but obey, angling his cock so the stream hit Vox's chest instead, the TV demon arching his back to proudly present it, his black skin glistening with the moisture.

Vox came with a ragged cry, his screen flickering black before it completely shut off and he slumped forward.

Husk finished up abruptly and dropped to his knees to check on his partner, heart beating a mile a minute. His paws fumbled frantically, looking for any sign that he hadn't just killed the demon with his own fucking _piss_. 

But in Vox's chest, he could feel the beating of his mechanical heart.

"You bastard." Husk hissed, giving him a light shake, "I didn't even get to cum. Wake the fuck up, you selfish prick."

As if he was actually being answered, Vox's screen flickered back on and he opened his eyes, looked around dazedly until his gaze settled on Husk. "Jesus Christ." He gasped, "Oh my fucking _God_ , Winnie, I haven't cum that hard in a long time."

Husk shot him a look, "Why am I not surprised that short circuiting from a golden shower is what gets your rocks off?"

Vox stretched out his body, leaning back against the bed, smug grin on his face, "You got off on it too."

"I didn't, actually."

Vox shot up, eyes wide, "What?" He glanced down at Husk's lap, where his dick was still hard despite the minor heart attack, "Oh, Winnie, I'm so sorry." He reached out to the neglected member, wrapped his hand around it and set up a steady pace.

"Don't fucking tease me now, baby girl. Not after that." Husk shifted his hips forward harshly, barbs dragging against Vox's palm. He placed his paws on the mattress, either side of Vox, caging him in, and fucked his hand with harsh thrusts. For a moment he forgot what had just happened, and he pressed an open mouthed kiss to Vox's face, only to grimace at the taste that greeted him.

Vox chuckled at him, tightened his hold on his cock and used his free hand to pull Husk closer, "What's the matter, Pussycat, can't handle it?"

Husk hissed, pushed forward to boldly lick a stripe across the screen, and despite the taste not being the best, he couldn't help the way his cocked twitched, spilled cum across Vox's stomach and crotch. He panted harshly, let his eyes close as he dropped his forehead to rest against Vox's screen.

"Feeling sleepy now, old man?"

"Gonna make you carry me to bed if you keep that up, _brat_."

Effortlessly, Vox scooped the feline up, "Hey, I ain't complaining. I think you deserve a bit of spoiling after that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout again to my server for encouraging peepee hours uwu


	3. Husk X Val X Al - Spanking, Facials, Voyeurism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor is getting a spanking from Valentino and Husk sees them accidentally, then sticks around to watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by Mort's wonderful, amazing, God damn fucking GORGEOUS fanart [uwu](https://twitter.com/MPeeniet/status/1247977660476784641)
> 
> And of course dedicated to the Valastor Appreciation Club for their continued support of my depravity <3

"Now what did you expect waltzing into my office looking like that, huh? Daddy's trying to get some work done, he doesn't need distractions."

"I'm sorry-"

"No, you're not."

Alastor let out a whimper, squirmed in his place kneeling over Valentino's lap, "I wasn't-"

"Wasn't what, sweetheart? You mean to tell me this little get-up is just your casual wear?" Valentino asked, giving Alastor's bare ass a light smack, "How many do you think you deserve for this?" He trailed fingers over black lace and golden ribbons, over the garters holding up long stockings, the skimpy material of the lingerie leaving absolutely nothing to Val's imagination. 

Especially not that fluffy tail that lay curled against Alastor's spine.

"Well, Bambi? I'm waiting."

Alastor tried to bury his face in his arms, but the pimp pulled him up with a gentle tug on an antler, "T-twenty." He stuttered, face red enough to match his hair.

"Hmm, only twenty?"

"Val-"

"If you behave and count every one, _and_ use my proper title, I'll settle for twenty."

"D-Daddy..."

"That's a good boy." Valentino chirped right beside a flattened ear. He gave the deer's rump a gentle pat, then grabbed a hold of his tail, tugged at it until Alastor got the idea to raise his ass a little higher, "Keep it just there for me, sweetheart. And don't forget to count."

"Yes, Daddy."

Valentino hummed, dropped two hands to his waist to begin unbuckling his belt.

Alastor's eyes widened, "Wait, not-"

"Yes, the belt. You thought you could get away with just twenty from my hand?" Val tutted, "I thought you knew me better than that by now."

Alastor let out another whimper, tail twitching, claws dipping into the couch cushion, threatening to tear it. He wasn't going to last for twenty strikes with the belt, wouldn't _survive_ , and Daddy would be mad and _why_ did Alastor think he could get away with dressing up and showing off?

He could hear the belt buckle clinking as Valentino folded the strip of leather and he braced himself for the first impact, prayed that Val made it _sting_.

A hand gently carded through the fur of his tail, fluffing it up before moving down to squeeze at his cheeks, giving them a light swat, then trailing lower still. That same large hand took a hold of his ankles, holding both of the thin things easily.

When Alastor tried to spread them, Valentino just held tighter, "You ready for it, sweetheart?"

"Yes, Daddy."

The slap of the leather hitting his ass was enough to jolt his whole body forward and he quickly stuttered out a _'One!'_ before Val decided to start over.

"Good boy, Bambi." Valentino purred, hand stroking tenderly at his ears.

Alastor leaned into the touch, letting out a sigh, and Val treated him to a soothing stroke over his reddened cheeks before he brought the belt down again.

"T-two!"

Another crack, harder that time.

"Three!" Alastor hiccuped, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes at the delicious sting.

Valentino used his grip on the deer's antlers to gently pull him up, kiss away the tears, "How're you feeling, baby?"

"'M fine..."

"Just fine...?" The pimp's voice took on a teasing tone as he trailed a single finger over the bulge in Alastor's lingerie, then further up to lightly rub over his covered hole.

Alastor would have kicked out a leg in frustration if he could, "It feels _real good_ , Daddy."

"That's much better." Valentino hummed, bringing the belt down over the flesh where ass met thigh.

"Four!" Alastor gasped, claws actually ripping the couch cushions as he clenched his fists.

If Val noticed, he didn't say anything, just gave Alastor's ass a soothing pat, "Do you want to tell me why I'm doing this, sweetheart?"

It took the deer a moment to gather his thoughts, "I-I came into your office while you were working..."

"...That's not the whole story now, is it?"

Alastor bit his lip, tried to get some sort of friction on his crotch but Valentino held him still. He let a strangled sigh, "I wore my best lingerie and-and I kept flicking my tail at you..."

"Mmhm, what else?"

"Daddy-"

"Don't try and get yourself out of this, Bambi, I need to know that you understand why you're getting the belt."

Alastor huffed and it earned him a hard smack on the ass.

"You've been good, don't start acting bratty or we'll start over and I'll make it thirty. _With the buckle_. Continue."

That caught Alastor's attention, and he held his breath as he considered whether or not it was worth it to push. He _did_ like the buckle. After a few long moments, he swallowed the sigh and pushed his rump into Valentino's hand, "I pushed your things off of your desk and told you you should be paying more attention to me, because I'd dressed up so prettily for you, even though I _knew_ you had work that needed to be done. I'm sorry, Daddy."

"You're not, but we'll fix that, baby. Count."

Another strike with the belt.

"Four!"

A dark chuckle from Valentino, "Wrong number. One more chance."

"Val-"

"That's not a number."

"Fi-... five?"

"Good boy." Val chirped.

Alastor counted his way all the way up to ten strikes before Valentino was stopping, all but draping himself over the deer's body. He shivered, the heat of his ass, combined with the heat of Val leaning over his back and the relative coolness of the rest of body, making for an odd mixture.

"Don't look now..." Valentino whispered beside his ear, "...but we've got ourselves an audience."

Alastor's eyes snapped towards the door, locking with the orange eyes that belonged to a very specific feline. He attempted to curl more into Valentino, hide his body, but the pimp straightened up and used all four hands to keep Alastor still.

"Come in, Husker!"

"Don't-"

"And don't bother hiding your dick, I've already seen it!"

The office door creaked open and Husk peered in, eyes wide, pink cock standing proud amongst the thick fur of his crotch. He crept closer hesitantly, shutting the door behind him, paws silent on the carpeted floors.

"You got a reason for showing up?"

"I- Al-" Husk looked between them shuffled akwardly, moved a paw to cover his crotch then seemed to decide against it, "Al left without telling anyone, Princess got worried, seeing as I'm the only one that knows what's going on with you two, I thought I'd check... things seem fine, sorry for interruptin'-"

"No no, Pussycat, you liked the show, why don't you stay a while?"

"Val-" Alastor whined desperately, one hand moving to dig claws into the pimp's thigh.

Val returned the treatment, claws digging into Alastor's already tender cheeks, "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to our guest, sweetheart."

Alastor's tail flicked down to cover his rump, and Valentino simply caught it, lifted it to pin it to his spine again.

"So tell me, Husker, do you want to stay and watch?"

The feline swallowed audibly, pupils blown wide, "I-... If Al is all right with that."

"Al's fine with whatever I say he's fine with, I'm asking about _you_."

Husk frowned, "With all due respect, asshole, I want to hear that from Alastor himself."

Valentino leaned against the back of the couch, threw an arm over it, "Bambi here has a safeword he can use whenever he wants, even if I've told him to shut up. The fact he isn't using it right now means he's fine with you being here."

Alastor buried his face in his forearms, not wanting his best friend to see him in such a state, but at the same time, Val was right. He did want Husk to see him in the skimpy lingerie he'd bought specifically to show off for the pimp, and he did want Husk to see him splayed over Val's lap, and he did want Husk to witness Val deliver every spank that he'd earned.

A hand curled under his chin, squeezed his cheeks and forced him to look at the winged cat. 

"Don't be rude, sweetheart, explain to our guest here."

Alastor took a shaky breath, looked Husk in the eye as he spoke, "My-my safeword is jambalaya. I can say it whenever I need to if it comes to that. Valentino would never do - _has never done_ \- anything after that point." He glanced at his lover, look softening just a touch, "He treats me well, Husker, I'm in good hands."

Valentino chirped at him, pressed soft kisses to his cheek, "That's a good boy, Al." He turned his attention back towards the feline, "Now that we've established that, Pussycat. Kneel right here-" He pointed to the ground in front of the couch, "-and keep your hands on your thighs. No touching yourself, myself or Alastor. You can use Alastor's safeword if you need to. Understood?"

Husk nodded.

"And you can keep your mouth shut unless spoken to. Do you need a cushion to kneel on?"

Husk shook his head and knelt on the ground, placed his hands on his thighs.

"Good kitty." Valentino purred, ignored Husk's disgruntled expression, "Do you remember what number we were on, baby?"

"Ten."

"Good boy. Do we need to increase the total since you've had a chance to rest?"

Alastor shook his head, "Buckle."

Valentino gasped theatrically, "The buckle, dear, really? You think you've been naughty enough for that?"

"Please, Daddy." Alastor pleaded, tail twitching in Valentino's hand.

"All right, sweetheart, show me that pretty ass of yours." Val chirped, then focused on Husk for a moment, "Don't worry about me catching your face or anything, I've had a lot of practice." He winked, and Alastor listened closely to the jingle of the belt buckle as the pimp adjusted his grip. "Ten more strikes Al, no breaks, safeword if you need to stop."

"Yes, Daddy."

The first bite of the buckle into his pale skin had Alastor letting out a loud yelp, his skin splitting from the impact, warm blood trickling down his bruised cheek. His ear flicked as he heard a muffled sound from Husk and he wanted to tell his friend that he was fine, that he was having fun - perhaps a little too much - and that Husk needn't worry. After all, he had entered Val's office earlier that day with the express purpose of earning himself a spanking.

But he needed to count and Val wasn't giving him a break to think about anything else.

"Eleven!"

"Twelve!"

"Thirteen!"

"Fourteen!"

At fifteen he felt a telltale twinge in his abdomen.

At sixteen he realized that, _yep_ , he really had to pee.

At seventeen he almost let go and he scrambled to grab something, anything, barking out a quick, "Jambalaya!"

Valentino was quick to drop the belt to the couch beside him and carefully wrap two arms around Alastor, holding him loosely against his chest. "Do you need to stop, sweetheart?" He asked softly.

Alastor bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, swallowed down a whimper. He looked at the pimp with tear filled eyes, said barely above a whisper, "I have to pee."

Val arched a single eyebrow, "That's it?" He asked, tone unamused, "Hold it. There's only three left."

Alastor squirmed, clutched at the material of Val's shirt with one hand while the other moved to squeeze his own crotch, "Val, I _can't_."

Valentino took his chin in hand, gently but firmly, "Are you safewording out of this?"

A deep, shaky breath, followed by a frustrated sigh.

"Words, Bambi, not noises."

" _No._ "

Val pecked his nose, "Then stop complaining and bend over."

Alastor leaned into the kiss, all but pressed his cheek against the pimp's lips, "I love you."

Valentino indulged him for a moment, letting his lips linger on his cheek before ducking his head to nip at the deer's neck, "I love you too, sweetheart, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you get away with distracting me." He pressed a hand to Alastor's stomach and he doubled over with a gasp.

"Daddy-"

"Three more. Count them."

The eighteenth strike had Alastor letting out a sob, desperately trying to close his legs, but Val kept him exposed. When he risked a glance at Husk, he saw his pupils blown so wide his eyes looked black, his lips were slightly parted, his cock had soaked the fur of his crotch, and his fists were clenched hard on his thighs, still obeying the rule Val had set. His feathers were also puffed up, making his wings look twice their usual size and his tail swayed rapidly behind him.

At nineteen, Alastor hid his face in his forearms, muffled his desperate cries, "I can't, Daddy, I can't, _I can't-_ "

"Either you safeword, or you count, I don't want to hear anything else from you."

Alastor nodded, entire body shaking, "Y-yes, Daddy. Nineteen."

"One more, sweetheart." Valentino murmured, placing featherlight kisses to Alastor's abused ass cheeks.

The belt came down harder that time than any of the previous strikes, buckle lashing Alastor's skin just _right_ , and he couldn't hold it any longer. His piss soaked through the lingerie quickly, and formed a stream that hit Valentino square in the thigh. He stilled, breath catching in his throat.

Val didn't move either. Not until Alastor was done. Then he was hauling the smaller demon up, settling Alastor in his lap with his back to his chest, so the deer was facing Husk. He used his lower hands to keep Alastor's thighs spread, one upper hand moving to cup Alastor's bulge, the last kept him pinned in place.

"You made a mess, Bambi."

"I'm sorry-"

"You've been saying that a lot tonight, but do you really mean it?"

"I do, Val-"

"What do you think, Husky? Do you think Al here deserves to cum after all that? The bratty behaviour, the missed count, the _mess_ , he even got some on your face."

Alastor's eyes widened and he looked down at Husk to notice that the fur on his face looked a bit damp, a bit yellow.

And he was licking his lips.

The deer lifted a hand to his mouth to bite down on his knuckles, muffled the noises he made as he rocked into Valentino's hand, then back to feel the rough material of the pimp's khaki's rub against his sore ass. To rub against the very noticeable bulge that Val was sporting.

Val's arm tightened around him and he breathed hotly on his ear, "Well, what do you think, Pussycat?"

"Just this once." Husk said in a strained voice, sounding absolutely wrecked despite having done nothing except watch, "Next time-... next time he doesn't get away with it."

"Sounds like a plan." Valentino grinned, fishing Alastor's erection out of the tight confines of the damp material. "Get a little closer, Husky, you don't want to miss a drop. And keep your paws where they are."

Husk surged up eagerly, all but resting his chin on the edge of the couch cushion, between Val's legs, just inches from Alastor's leaking cock. Even an idiot could see that the sight of Val's large hand swallowing up Alastor's cock was driving the feline wild, his whole body heaving with each heavy breath he took.

Predictably, it didn't take much for Alastor to cum all over the feline's face, streaks almost invisible on the backdrop of white fur. Val pumped him through it, until he was sobbing from the oversensitivity and pleading for him to stop.

Husk was purring like a motorboat as he licked his lips, stretching his tongue out as far as it would go to catch whatever was matting his fur. He was so loud, Alastor swore that he could _feel_ the vibrations of his purr.

The deer wriggled and Valentino gently lifted him from his lap to let him settle at his side.

One of the pimp's hands slipped to rub soothingly over the bruises he'd created, "Give Daddy five more minutes, sweetheart, I'll take care of you soon."

Alastor nodded, whispered, "Okay." He snuggled against the larger Overlord's shoulder, kept his tail in the air as he tried not to let anything brush his sensitive ass. Kisses were placed to his hair and ears before Val moved on.

"Can you sit still a bit longer, Pussycat?"

"Yeah." Husk rasped through purrs.

"Good." Valentino chirped right back. He took himself out with deft fingers, gave his a cock a few slow strokes.

Husk shuddered at the sight of it, eyes widening before he squeezed them shut and let his mouth hang open. He clearly wasn't expecting hot piss to be what hit him in the face, but after the first small flinch he stayed still, aside from opening his mouth wider to try and catch more of it.

"Filthy cat." Val chuckled as he rolled his hips forward into his hand, "I hope you can handle one more load of cum? It'll be a big one."

"Please." Husk whined.

"Please, what?"

The feline wrinkled his nose, "I ain't calling you daddy-"

Valentino leaned forward and wasn't squeamish at all about taking a hold of Husk's chin, "Oh, that's fine, I'll settle for _sir_." He purred, "And you should know that I don't tolerate disobedience from anyone in the bedroom. I won't hesitate to bend you over my knee as well, Husker."

Husk swallowed, "Yes, sir. Please, sir."

Val pressed his thumb to Husk's lips, pulled his jaw down until his mouth was opened as wide as it would go, "Keep it just like that." He ordered, not giving the cat much of a choice.

Alastor slowly reached out a hand towards Val's cock, glanced at him for approval.

"Go on, baby boy."

With permission granted, Alastor wrapped his slender fingers around that long length, held it so that the tip would ghost across Husk's tongue when Val thrust his hips forward.

The pimp didn't tease himself, thrusting into Alastor's hand hard and fast, until he was painting streaks across his face and filling up the feline's mouth.

Husk lunged up from the floor as soon as Val was done, pressed their lips together and humped his stomach, dirtying one of the pimp's favourite Hawaiian shirts.

Alastor smothered a chuckle. Filthy as the pimp was, he wouldn't mind the state of Husk's face, but the stain would certainly earn him a future punishment, and also the fact that-

"While I appreciate the enthusiasm, sweetheart, next time _wait_ for _permission_." Valentino growled, nipping at the cat's lips, "I won't forget that."

Husk's feathers bristled, "Sorry."

"We'll see about that." Val hummed, "Hurry up and cum, I can't imagine your face is feeling very nice right now." He got a hand on Husk's dick, felt the barbs against his palm. His tongue found soaked fur, licked it clean as if he himself were a cat.

"You're both disgusting." Alastor huffed, then regretted it almost immediately. He knew Valentino loved that kind of talk, but Husk had always been so fragile-

Except Alastor didn't need to worry, because Husk was gasping and his hips were stuttering as he came into Val's hand.

"Well." Valentino grinned, "That's enough of that then." He shooed the cat off of his lap and tucked himself back in, adjusted his shirt, wiped his hand clean on the couch. Then he stood, scooping Alastor into his arms as he did so, "C'mon, Pussycat, aftercare includes you."

"I don't need-"

"Stopping you right there buddy, you don't think you need it, but you do. And besides we gotta talk if you want this to be a thing, we can do that while you're both sitting in a warm bath, unless kitty hates water?"

Husk followed after them, grumbling, " _Kitty_ would prefer a shower."

"Bath. Take it or leave it."

Husk's tail lashed behind him, but he didn't complain further.

"Val, your coat." Alastor spoke up, tapping the pimp's shoulder.

"Oh, of course." Valentino stopped by his desk to grab his coat off the back of the chair, bundled Alastor up in it with practiced ease. He threw a spare arm around Husk's shoulders, chuckled as the feline buried a face in his side and used his wings to try and cover himself from prying eyes as they made their way to Valentino's penthouse.

Alastor let his eyes slip closed as he settled in Valentino's arms, not quite drifting off, but still not quite awake. 

"Whoever said three's a crowd is a dumbass, I think it's just perfect." He heard Val say quietly at the same time as another purr rumbled out of Husk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll see some good HH peepee fanart I will deadass have a go at writing for it, depending on the ship, of course, and I'm still open to random ideas, aND MORT, I SWEAR, IF YOU WANT MORE FIC BASED ON YOUR ART-
> 
> Come kinkshame me on Twitter because being kinkshamed is my kink uwu [@hunting_people](https://twitter.com/hunting_people)


	4. RadioDust - Dry Humping, Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor and Angel Dust get chained together with a pair of magic dampening cuffs as a way to force them to get along, it works, but not how Charlie intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating the peepee collection with a requested RadioDust chapter, please enjoy

"I just don't see why we have to wear these- these _stupid_ cuffs! If anything, they'll only make me want to murder you more!"

"C'mon, Smiles, it ain't that bad! It's... kinda hot, if you think about it."

"Nope! Not at all! Not thinking about it!"

Angel Dust chuckled at the man he got to call his boyfriend, gently tugged on the warded cuffs that connected his top left wrist to Alastor's right. "Don't be so dramatic, it'll be over before you know it."

"Dramatic is my middle name, dear, and as much as I love you, I'd rather not be _physically attached_ to you for the entire day." Alastor growled, shaking his wrist, only to stop when Angel hissed in pain. "Sorry."

Angel waved his free hand, "The princess said until we agree to get along, we can do that in under a day."

"Not realistically."

"Eh, eight hours is a lot of time if you think about it."

"Compared to the eternity of Hell, it really isn't, Angel."

Angel Dust pouted, playfully punched Alastor's shoulder, "Can you not be a party pooper for five minutes?"

Alastor tugged Angel down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, whispered sweetly, "No." Then he grabbed the spider's hand and began to drag him down the hall, "Now I have work to do, so I hope you don't."

Predictably, Angel had gotten bored rather quickly of sitting around while Alastor went through hotel related paperwork, but all it took to quiet him down was to let him control what music the radio played. Alastor would have stroked fingers through the longer fur on his head too, but the cuffs prevented that. He settled for stroking a thumb over the back of Angel's hand instead.

-

"You all right, Smiles? You haven't sat still for the past hour."

"I'm fine."

"Uh huh." Angel hummed, "So what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Alastor hissed more insistantly, uncrossing his legs only to recross them.

"Really? Because ya know what it looks like to me?" The spider pushed, leaning his weight against Alastor's thigh, "It _really_ looks like ya gotta take a piss."

"Nope. No. I don't." The deer rambled quickly, "I certainly don't need to use the bathroom right now, thank you. If you would be so kind as to remain quiet so I can finish this work."

Angel did so for all of five minutes, before Alastor's fidgeting actually began to irritate him, "Al, seriously, if you gotta piss then _go piss_. I've seen worse, it ain't gonna bother me."

A low growl filled with radio static came from the shorter demon, " _Quiet_ , Angel."

"Fine. Piss ya self. That's actually kinda hot anyway."

Alastor tensed up, hand pausing its furious scribbling, "What is wrong with you? I don't need to go and I am not going to _wet myself_ in my _office_!" He ended his statement with an indignant squeak, telling the spider all he needed to know.

That Alastor was seconds away from doing exactly what he said he wasn't going to do.

Angel Dust could be patient when he wanted to, so he simply waited, eyes watching Alastor like a hawk. Catching every tiny shift in his expression, in his position, the way Alastor clenched and unclenched his jaw. Catching every soft noise of anger and frustration.

Until Alastor tensed one last time and Angel Dust heard the faint sound of fabric rapidly soaking.

Angel darted from his spot beside Alastor's chair to between the Radio Demon's legs, shoving them apart to give him more room and a better view. 

"Angel!" Alastor gasped, hands rushing to try and shove him away, only to awkwardly twist Angel's arm where they were still connected at the wrist.

"Ah- ow, hey! Stop that!" Angel growled back, twining their fingers together to pin Alastor's hand down to his thigh. He used his free hands to keep the deer's legs spread, watched as the puddle underneath him grew, spreading across his wooden chair until it grew too large and began to drip to the floor.

A hand clutched tightly at the longer fur on Angel's head, but it wasn't trying to move him, was just simply holding on as Alastor let out a barely there whimper. 

It took everything in Angel not to lean forward and lap at the puddle, or to bury his face in Alastor's crotch.

A full minute passed before Alastor finished pissing, everything in the way thoroughly drenched, even the fur on Angel's knees was damp. 

When the spider dared to drag his gaze from his boyfriend's crotch to check his face, he saw it was bright red, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, but refusing to fall, ever present grin wavering just the slightest amount. He was quick to raise up, balance himself on top of Alastor's thighs without getting himself more wet, "Are you alright, Smiles?" He asked gently.

Alastor was quick to nod in answer.

"Good." Angel grinned, standing up and hauling Alastor with him, then spinning them to pin him to the desk. His upper arms pinned Alastor's hands to the desk, his lower pair moved South, one gripping the deer's hip, the other moving to squeeze Alastor's crotch. "Ya _really_ liked that, huh?"

"Shut up." Alastor hissed.

Angel leaned close with a grin on his face, "No, I don't think I will." He gave Alastor's crotch another squeeze, delighted in the loud gasp he received and the strong buck of hips into his hand. He swooped down for a kiss, moved his hand to pull Al's hips flush against his instead, grinding them together.

Each groan and gasp Alastor let out was swallowed up by the spider's mouth, and each movement he made was guided by the hands on his hips and the legs he had tightly wrapped around a slim waist.

"What got ya so turned on, huh?" Angel rasped in Alastor's ear when he broke the kiss, "Did ya like how embarrassing it was? Pissing yourself at your desk while you were working? And right in front of _me_ , too." He gave a slow roll of his hips, "Or was it the heat and the wetness that got ya? Sitting there in your own mess, how _filthy_ , Alastor-"

"Angel-" Alastor choked out, interrupting him. His entire body was trembling, static buzzing around him and Angel knew what that meant.

"Gonna cum for me, baby?" He asked in a whisper.

Alastor cried out, bucking against him one last time, and that sent Angel over the edge too.

He lay on top of the smaller demon while they panted for breath, planted soft kisses on Alastor's cheek and neck.

A groan came from the deer once he'd caught his breath and he lightly shoved at Angel, grimacing as he spoke, "We need to clean up. I stink and I feel disgusting."

Angel chuckled, straightening up, then he fell still, "That's gonna be kind of difficult to do when we can't take our clothes off." He rattled the cuffs, giving Alastor a pointed look.

A beat of silence then-

"Well, Charlie's definitely going to believe us when we tell her that we're getting along now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a bunch more planned, including Valastor (ofc), Huskroin and also RadioHusk, look forward to those ;o


	5. Valentino X Al's Shadow - Piss Drinking, Blowjobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentino chugs too much coffee and can't quite make it back to his penthouse in time, it's a good job he's got a handy dandy portable urinal with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *RUNS IN, TRIPS ON MY OWN DICK*
> 
> I FORGOT THAT I FINISHED MORE PISS, HERE YA GO, DRINK UP

Alastor's shadow had been watching him all day, Valentino knew that, he wasn't stupid, he'd been with the Radio Demon long enough to notice the difference. To the untrained eye, the shadow was invisible, but it never quite blended in seamlessly, especially when it was excited.

"Care to explain why you're here, darlin'?" Valentino spoke out loud to his office, not taking his eyes from his work. His back grew cold, and he tried to fight down the grin, "Was Al too busy to watch me himself? Or does he just miss me that much without realizing?"

The shadow curled around his back, effortlessly slid around to seat itself in Val's lap.

He allowed it, curled his lower arms around the creature's waist as it settled against him, the cool temperature that surrounded it not bothering him in the slightest.

It didn't move once it was comfortable, so Valentino returned to his work, lower arms staying around the shadow to stroke over its back, or over a hip.

They stayed that way for a few long hours, an assistant of Valentino's rushing in to refill his coffee mug whenever it emptied. He didn't realize quite how much he'd drank until his bladder was uncomfortably full and he found that he couldn't sit still, not even for five more minutes to finish what he was doing.

He tapped the shadow's rump hastily, "Up, up! Gotta take a piss, I'll be back in a moment, sweetheart."

The shadow allowed Valentino to stand and then followed after him.

Val raised an eyebrow, "I don't need you to hold it for me. You can wait here."

Alastor's shadow simply grinned at him, but didn't make a move to return to Valentino's desk.

When Val took a step, it took a step too.

"I was being serious, I'm quite capable of pissing without help."

It didn't budge.

Valentino heaved a sigh, threw all four of his hands in the air, "Alright, fine!"

He made his way back to his penthouse, the shadow all but skipping along behind him. One of these days he'd get a bathroom closer to his office, so he wouldn't have to go so far. As it stood, his penthouse was still several hallways and one elevator ride away and Valentino was definitely going to piss himself any second.

A sudden tug on one of his lower hands had him cursing, his free lower hand flying to his crotch to squeeze it, stop himself from having an accident.

"Alastor!" He hissed at the shadow, "For fuck's sake, now is not the time!"

It grinned at him, the blue glow of it almost taunting. It let Val's wrist go to start tugging at his coat, unfastening it and throwing it open, then its claws moved to yank Val's pants down.

Val was too stunned to move until the shadow sunk to its knees and opened its mouth, blue tongue sticking out as if-

"Shit." Valentino cursed, then shoved his knuckles into his mouth to bite down on them. 

_Fuck_. That shouldn't be as hot as it was.

"You thirsty, Al? Gotta drink it all up for me?"

The shadow nodded, leaned a little closer until the tip of Val's cock was resting on its cool tongue, and who was Val to deny it?

Valentino leaned back against the wall so he wouldn't crumple to the ground, held his cock steady with one hand. Then he relaxed and finally let go, a strong stream of piss rapidly filling the shadow's mouth.

He began to panic when he saw the shadow running out of space to hold piss, and thought maybe it couldn't swallow-

But then it did, keeping its mouth wide open so Val could see every motion, watch it fill up again, and Val's stream wasn't dying down any time soon. He was a big guy, with a big bladder, and he'd drank a _lot_ of coffee.

Alastor's shadow took it all effortlessly, not spilling a single drop, and Valentino wanted to know how the fuck it managed to do that, but at the same time, he didn't need to understand it to think it was hot shit.

Val was fighting the blood that wanted to rush South, wanted to at least finish pissing before he got a boner. His dick really had other ideas though, and apparently so did Alastor's shadow, because it closed its cool mouth around the head of the pimp's cock, sucked gently as it swallowed.

"Fuck!" He cursed, two hands flying to the thing's antlers, trying to push it away while simaltaneously pulling it further to shove into its willing mouth.

It chuckled silently at him, glowing grin stretching wide, and slowly sunk down onto him.

The feeling of a _cold_ wet mouth was new and unusual, but Val's stream of piss was slowing down and his cock had no trouble fattening up. He kept his hands tangled around large antlers, pulled the shadow against him until a black nose was nestled in his pubes and his cock was lodged firmly in the creature's throat.

Valentino almost spared a thought for the shadow's master, hoped Alastor wasn't off somewhere tasting piss and struggling to breathe, but the shadow wouldn't be there if Al wasn't fine with it, right?

The creature impatiently tugged at Valentino's hips, long tongue wrapping around the hot flesh in its mouth.

"Alright, slut." He growled, rolling his hips, "Don't get bratty with me now. You just sit there and let Daddy give you what you deserve, 'kay sugar?"

It closed its eyes, let its hands drop to its lap and Val took the hint to take control.

One of Val's hands closed around a velvety shadow ear, "Can Al hear this? Is he gonna hear me if I tell him his shadow is this _easy_?" He sneered, bucked his hips, smothered a groan at how well the shadow took it, "But you're one and the same aren't you? His desires are yours and vice versa? Is this what the famed Radio Demon wants? To get on his knees and become the King of Porn's personal urinal?"

His response was a vibration around his cock, the shadow taking him in to the base again and then blinking blue eyes at him.

Valentino stilled when he saw Alastor in those eyes, _knew_ that the Radio Demon was looking through them in that moment. He released the breath he'd been holding, and smirked, winked down at the shadow. "Nice of you to join us, sweetheart."

The shadow flicked its ears, closed its eyes again as it worked its throat around the pimp.

Eager to finish and get out of the hallway, Valentino began to rock his hips, slowly picking up the pace until he found himself tumbling over the edge. He held the shadow in place and it had no complaints, swallowing all that Val had to offer.

"Good boy, Bambi." Valentino purred, pulling it off of his cock. He dried himself off on the inside of his coat, tucked himself back in, then fixed his clothes.

Alastor's shadow was still on its knees and Val raised an eyebrow at it, "I haven't got anymore for you right now, ya greedy slut." He chuckled to himself, "Stick around though." He crouched down, cupped the side of its face, thumb pressing at black lips.

The shadow obediently opened its mouth, and Val hummed as he hooked his thumb into the shadow's mouth to open it wider.

Val leaned closer and when he didn't receive any objection, he kissed the shadow. Well, it was more like he just stuck his long tongue into that mouth to taste himself, and the shadow allowed Val to do so until he grew bored, drawing back with saliva running down his chin. He gave it a pat on the head, wide grin taking over his face. He caught blue eyes with his red, "Feel free to drop by any time ya like, Al."

-

Alastor did drop by, but only to continue his relationship with Valentino like nothing had ever happened. His desires, of the sexual nature, were all expressed through his shadow, the creature appearing to help Val relieve stress and relieve _himself_ , if Alastor was around when Val needed to go, his shadow would simply follow after the pimp, and no mention would be made of the act when they both returned.

It had gotten to the point where Alastor's shadow was appearing every time Valentino needed to piss, he couldn't even remember the last time he'd used an actual toilet for pissing in, and yet Al himself still said nothing. Did nothing.

Valentino was beginning to think that maybe he should be the one to bring it up, force Alastor to speak about something for once. And he'd started psyching himself up to actually have that conversation.

That is, until he entered the bathroom of his penthouse and expected Alastor's shadow to be waiting for him, only to find _Alastor_.

The deer turned to him at the sound of him entering and opened his mouth invitingly.

Valentino almost tripped in his hurry to cross the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always available for kinkshaming, don't forget


End file.
